Blown up knee and the denied pain medication that could've be... or been.

So like I said before.. I am currently without insurance. I know I cannot expect much in the ways of service. .. but man I didn't think it'd be this bad. I know that there's a possibility the hospital might pick up a large portion of the bill. Not holding my breath but it's somithing. Then they tell me to go to a specific place to meet a certain doctor 2 weeks after the surgery.  For all I know this doctor was a physical therapist. Other than that I was told nothing. Well last Thursday was appt day and I gotta say I was excited to ask some questions about the recovery process.

Little did I know this doctor had no idea why I was ther- WAIT. .. back up.. first off. They turned me away because I didn't bring the literal 5 letters of proof I'm not a drifter to be 'put into the system' so next day I made another appt... my sister drove us BACK to the place, and after showing proof of residency, 2 paystubs, my ID, a few bills to further prove my address... I got in.

I still didn't know what I was doing there... P/T? X rays? Unfortunately the place didn't know either. So not only was I turned away and wasted hours that could've been spent packing up my Shit (I moved this weekend) and SLEEPING (my poor sisters been so great helping me she was exhausted) they didn't have any idea who I was.  So after passing the 6 point inspection to get in, I was put in an interview room. Where I was promptly told that I am not eligible for any discounts toward anything there. Yup. Me who makes about a tenth of what I used to make and can barely pay bills with it receives no help. DONT TELL ME HELP IS AN OPTION THEN!

The gal said it would also be a $150 fee to put me in the system (her keyboard keys must fucking cure cancer) and if I saw the doctor (who was literally waiting for me) I'd have to give up $385 more. That's $535 to see if I can solve a mystery. Well I refused ..asked the gal about to punch me in for $50 per syllable if I could ask the doctor why I'm here before fatally wounding my wallet, and was told I could only see her if the bucks rolled..

In the end I opted to keep it a mystery and keep my money. Like I said.. I get it. I am uninsured... but then leave me to fend for myself and don't show me options I clearly won't get.  I even got denied painkillers after asking the surgeons office if I call them when my first bottle of pain meds runs out. "Sure no problem sir we just call it in for you!"...
Okay a sigh of relief. .. tell I find out the surgeons office denied my request. No info, no warning it MIGHT get denied ( if they said that I wouldn't be pissed off) Just  friendly "we're on it sir we live to help"....

This is my gripe. If you're going to tell me one thing. .. don't do the other. Now I have a massively swollen knee that's Laughing at the aspirin I been taking... I bailed on a mystery doctor and cannot help thinking she was some key to something that could help me .......

(Sorry fell off the bed laughing)

So I do have an appt tomorrow to see the actual surgeon who put my humpty  back together. Hopefully some light will be shed. Sorry for the ranting. Just frustrated.

I'll end with a joke...
- a quadriplegic woman is crying on a beach... A handsome man walks by and asks "what's wrong?"
"it's just that I've never been hugged by a real man before" she whimpers..
"Well I'm here" he said, bending down to hug her...and moves on.
An hour later he comes back to the woman .. again in tears.
"What's wrong now?" He asks...
"Well, I've never been kissed by real man either..." she replies...
The man sighs, picks her up, and gives her the most passionate kiss she ever thought possible...
" there you go miss, so long" and he walks away.
Another hour goes by and the man hears her crying from across the beach...wailing louder than ever..
" What's wrong now miss??" He asked..
"Well.." she said..."it's kind of embarrassing. .. but I've never been fucked by a real man either..."
The  man sighs again..looks around.. picks her up and tosses her into the ocean..
"There..now you're fucked!"

*disclaimer... If I offended you with this closer... Get over it. It's a frigging joke. We're all hurtin. ^^

The Desolation of Smaug..

 

So any of you who know me know that I have lovingly named my car after one of he world's most famousest of Dragons...  SMAUG.... seven years BEFORE  everyone knew what the hell Smaug was.  I would get weird question like, "What are you from California?"  "So your car pollutes THAT  much?"  "What are you a weirdo?"  

When I first saw a Dodge Magnum it was in 2005... I was on the CIP (Cross Island Expressway) and a black one zoomed past before I could see what kind of car it was. I knew though that one day I would own one.  I finally found out the make & model, and saw it was available in  red... my favorite color other than black.  & not only red, but INFERNO RED CRYSTAL PEARL!  SIIIICK!

So I got one in 2007... used from a lot in queens...  with a few scrapes here & there... but I loved it anyway.  And I had already picked Smaug as his name.

We've had lots of great times my wheeled dragon ride & I...  Dodge Magnums are nothing to sneeze at.  It may be an aerodynamic station wagon, but I've left my share of Beamers in the dust. 5.7 liter engine with a HEMI makes it so even the fastest little coopers tore ass trying to get away...

I was excited when the second Hobbit movie came out, since now everyone would actually know what the hell my license plate said...  except now people thought i DID it because of the movie... ugh... there is a reason they are called ' the masses' ..

But alas... the black arrow on 183 has sung and struck him in his exposed scale... and he is no more.

That Bard's a dick.

Uninsurity.....

SO I am uninsured. Before you all wag your finger at me saying I shoulda gotten health insurance ans all these problems I am gonna have now could've been avoided. Piss off. Insurance on it's own is impossibly expensive, and when Obamacare showed up, there were so many damn problems with the site & ways to sign up I just put it off.

 I've had health insurance before. My jobs provided it to me when I worked full time where you only pay like $60/month for it, I have also been out of work and hemorrhaged thousands into the slithery jaws of Cobra. Cobra is the antithesis of what you'd think affordable healthcare would be. I went almost a year in NY paying $1300/month for a health insurance I never used. It was a precaution yes.... but after I ended it (by getting a new job) It's not like I got anything back. If the idea was to have a sort of retropay based on how little you use facilities... it would make more sense.

I'd be happy to buy into the system if I was able to gt a percentage back for just being in good health. Jesus we praise people for putting down that for the slice of pie in this country... you'd think they'd figure that out.

I get it. If I had a condition requiring constant refilling of prescriptions I'd need to pay into health insurance. But in 2012 I had an asthma attack so bad I drove myself to one of those emergency centers. Those places are awesome. They checled me out, gave me oxygen, 2 inhalers, and 50 doses of albuterol, and 3 prescription doses of steroids(not that one) to help open my lungs. All for the one time price of $400. To me, that's not bad at all.

A broken femur is a tad more complicated I agree, and this blog isn't a bitchfest that I should get the same help as those who are insured. I made a choice (well, I tried getting on Healthcare.gov when I heard about it, but the site had all those problems & I put it off) because I'm a pretty healthy guy. Man-tits & tire aside, I don't do dairy, I juice with a Vitamix like every day, I don't eat shitty food for the most part, and I don't need to take meds to stay alive... That, plus watching my step... gives me a GOOD chance of not needing insane amounts of healthcare. (why does everything taste like Irony?) So it's very easy to put these things off... especially with spending most of my life NOT in a doctor's office.

I am still trying to get on healthcare.gov, but with everyday since the accident filled with packing, moving, appointments, trying to chase down my car insurance, figuring out my uninsured options.. all without being able to WALK (thanks christ for my sister & friends) IT'S HARD TO SIT ON HOLD FOR 45 MINUTES!!! I haven't spoken to anyone who is on it, so I don't know if I am just unlucky or the system is still boned... but it just makes you feel hopeless.

But apparently, hospitals have deals that pay for a LARGE portion of your bill, and that MIGHT be a possibility for me (still trying to figure everything out) but it's not from generosity or even pity on those who are uninsured. It's all about collections. From what I understand (and I may be wrong...) if I had a bill of say $100,000 from the hospital and couldn't pay it. In the end it would cost the hospital about 80% of that in collections fees to get the money. SO instead, they offer absurd discounts like 80%... which knocks my bill down to $20,000... tickling the what-a-deal gland we Americans have honed so much with commercial deals & president's day sales.



 My future debt monster is still unknown... like awaiting a Kaiju and not knowing it's category. I just hope it's something I can handle...

Scars! Beware grossness ahead. .

Gross out Thursday! Scars fascinate me. You've been warned...

The shit?

Here I sit, broken hearted...
Tried to shit, but barely farted...
Narcotics for pain, promise relief...
If only they didnt shut down your butthole... good greif....
Cant wait to crap, would relish the chance...
But I fear the hulk's gonna rip out the back of my pants...

*nnnngggnnghhhhhhhhh
And aneurysm.

The Accident

A bunch of people keep asking me what exactly happened a week ago Monday when I got into the car wreck. I wish I could say it was a daring GTA maneuver to avoid a stampeding herd of deer or hobos and the only way to avoid mowing them down was to crash into a pole. But alas, life isn't that exiting. I switched lanes on the service road of 183 South and lost control. I was doing maybe 40mph on the service road (a crawl compared to some of the speeding limits I've seen here in the Lonestar state) and saw an Academy Sports place up ahead and decided I want to head on in there. I went to change lanes, and when I put my foot over the brake to do so, something didn't catch on the road & the car started fishtailing. A lot can happen in 3 seconds, because before I knew it when I tried to right the car it tailed really hard the other way, and in an instant I was off the road, headed down a slope & slammed head first into a big cement pole.

The force of the impact sent the shock through my toes, ankle, shin, knee, and decided to exit about 3/4 the way up my leg & POP*... the femur cracked in half. If you're into practical FX makeup or horror films it was pretty interesting to look at... a thigh trying to run away at top speed while the rest of the leg was twisted the wrong way trying ffebly to bend at the knee to keep up... Now you'd think the age old drama of self preservation would cause one to let go of all other notions of humanity besides the basic "I don't want to die, my leg bone is severed will I ever walk again?" No... My first thought was "SHIT! I DON'T HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE!" Other than breaking my thigh bone, I cracked a bunch of ribs on my right side, have a bunch of bruises and a seatbelt laceration on my neck that looks like a narrowly escaped beheading from Shinobi.

How sad is that? That MONEY becomes the biggest fear? I had been without proper health insurance for a while (ever since my job at Dell) and have tried a bunch of times to figure out healthcare.gov. But with all the glitches & time-outs I simply let it fall to the wayside. I have a crazy schedule and there is no excuse of course but fuck it, when the thing never works, there's always a slim chance you'll break a thigh bone before you get signed up... & it was my turn to hit bankrupt on the wheel of fortune. Worst of it was I just dumped $400 into my car THAT DAY to get a bunch of maintenance done on it. Including a spanking new tire to replace the one I've been filling up every week because of a slow leak.

As far as any fault in the work done on the car, that's something Geico's going to check... My biggest concern was, the airbags didn't deploy. I hit a fucking pole, taco'd the front of Smaug (my car is a 2006 red Dodge Magnum & his name is Smaug.. shut up) and NO AIRBAGS??? My though was the sensor itself might not have been hit to trigger the airbags, but the guy at the tow yard & a few others who've seen the damage up close think otherwise...

The timing of this couldn't be worse either. Besides apprenticing 4 days/week at a Tattoo shop in north Austin (Pigment Dermagraphics, best new school custom tattoo artists I've had the pleasure of training under) I work part time as a Photoshop specialist about 20-25 hours the rest of the week for money...(tattoo training is all gratis on my part) I'm also moving this week, closer to the job & shop, and wasted the last week in a hospital rather than packing.

Luckily I have some pretty amazing family & friends. My sister flew down to TX to help me move & take care of the car insurance logistics (she's an insurance claims adjuster) and a friend harbored me for rest of the week after I was let go from the hospital. There are others, & I thanked them via various social media, & they who know who they are.

Back to the incident.... After I hit the pole, the second biggest fear hit. I didn't know where my phone was. It was in the cupholder & flew out somewhere, & I was about 30' from the road. I saw 3 or 4 cars coast past... unsure if they didn't see my arms flailing like a Team AMerica marionette or just didn't want to get involved, and after not being able to reach around to even see if my phone was anywhere, a guy pulled up & saw I was actually hurt. He phones the ambulance, and found my phone for me. The car was a wash. After they folded me in half and got me on a gurney (the shock made the pain surprisingly bearable) I saw the Desolation of Smaug (roll on snare drum) There was a can of paint in the back seat that exploded, I had a lunch bag in the front with 2 thermos' that frosted the front panel in coffee & kale shake, and as I was put in the ambulance I saw the front accordianed in... chopping a few feet from the length of the car.

Now I hate hospitals. I've seen first hand MULTIPLE acts of negligence leading to to death of loved ones (yeah, plural) so to me, a hospital is filled with people "at work"- not necessarily with people who have a passion for helping others. Are all healthcare practitioners like this? No. They just have a shitty track record with me. SO my trust is already shaky by the time I get there. I am from NY though, the land of distrust, and although mostly everyone was nice & did what they could for me (proving further that Texas is filled with awesome people) there was still that one nurse who was openly annoyed she had to work late. Another (through no fault of her own) was trying to help me get from the gurney to the bed, & didn't know any nature of my injury. She reached from my left side to the blanket they put you on to roll you like a burrito on or off the gurney, and every synapse exploded since she pulled me towards her & my leg stayed strapped down. I don't remember much after that but apparently I roared so loud she jumped back & I yelled at everyone to just let me do it, & I used this pull up bar-thing they had on the bed to pull myself on. It wasn't her fault, but fuck, TELL THE PEOPLE SOMETHING BEFORE HAVING THEM TRY TO HELP.

They then put a 40lb weight on my ankle to keep the leg stretched out. Without a bone, the leg muscles crunched up like a medicine ball... and that kids is where the pain happens... I gotta be honest though, I'd take a broken femur over a broken ankle ANY DAY. I broke my ankle (with the help of a negligent friend who kept insisting on bringing me to my feet AFTER said break)to the point where it was ankle soup back in 2010. & with the sheer number of bones, ligaments, tendons, and whatnot, it was WAY worse. That & an itchy cast I had to saran wrap before each shower, the dirty feeling of not being able to clean yourself under the cast... gross. This time around, NO CAST! Yeah! They stretched the leg so the bones lined up, put a steel rod in there & bolted it shut. I was walking with a walker in like 50 hours!

So now the road to recovery begins. This is my first week home, my sister's going to help pack the rest of my shit up for the move. Luckily I moves to this shoebox 1BR from a house in Pflugerville, knowing I was only gonna be here 6 months till I figured out what i was doing in life. But the new place I am moving to is going to be a thousand percent better. It's closer to the shop & my job, it's got a fireplace & laundry in the house... Plus it's a DUPLEX! So I'll have a set.. of.. stairs.. to deal with...

DAMMIT!